“I love you and the answer is No” is one of the best ways to describe the Kind ‘and’ Firm approach of positive parenting. Imposing positive discipline on children was the focus of the recently concluded parent seminar that the Parents Educators Nurturing Cooperation and Integrity La Salle Lipa (PENCIL), Inc. spearheaded in coordination with the Guidance Office- Integrated School held at the BHV Gymnasium last November 8, 2019.
Dr. Marie Gethsamanuie P. Hilario, LPT, RPm, RGc a sought-after speaker in the field of creative therapy and children, teenagers, and young adults gave her insights on the seminar with the theme “Kind Yet Firm: Positive Parenting.” Dr. Hilario or “Dr. Geths” to her family and friends, is a graduate of the Royal and Pontifical University of Sto. Tomas from Grade School to College. She graduated with the highest distinction for MAEd Guidance and Counseling and High Distinction for Ph.D. Counseling Psychology. Presently, she is a private practitioner in counseling and a part-time faculty of DLSU-Dasmarinas College of Education (COE) undergraduate and graduate studies.
The event was attended by the Student Services Director Mr. Welmer Adajar who gave his welcome remarks, as well as teachers and parents of the Nursery-Grade 10 students. The said event also aimed to promote positive reinforcement through such informative session.
Dr. Hilario stressed that it is important for parents to realize the changing times, and the kind of discipline that worked before for the older generation may not work this time for the new generation. She emphasized that physical and verbal abuse have no place inside the home as a form of punishment or a way of disciplining children. Furthermore, there are a lot of reasons behind each child’s misbehavior like boredom, family problem, lack of attention, etc. that parents should properly address. This is where positive discipline comes in; once parents recognize that there are no bad kids, just bad behaviors, then it would be much easier to handle the matter. “We are modifying their behaviors and not punishing them,” she said.
In the Kind Yet Firm approach, Dr. Hilario added that being kind doesn’t mean always giving in to what the child wants but giving him choices and options to discover things on his own and be firm and consistent when you say no.
In the end it is true kindness and firmness together that provide an environment where children can develop the “wings” they need to soar through life.